I work with a group of young adults who are aiming to develop their leadership skills, and we were engaging in our daily check in. A check in can be any prompt, any question to take a pulse check, let people know how you’re showing up to the space, and settle into the group for the day. That day’s prompt was: ‘Tell me a fun fact about yourself’. We’d write our answer on a notecard, fold it up and place it in a cup, and then would guess who it belonged to.
I pondered over my fact for a moment. Some ideas popped to my mind immediately: I am a poet; I am a musician. Those seemed to speak to the surface level, as even in the first few weeks they would soon come to find those out. I wanted to go a bit deeper and share another part of myself. So, before I knew it, I ended up writing ‘My favorite playground game is freeze tag.’ Even as I wrote, my eyes lit up remembering the thrill of the game. I folded my paper and handed it over.
As a staff member in this group, I belong in a somewhat liminal space of participation. Often, I participate in check ins as a practice to build trust, community, and accountability, though I have an opt-out button I can press when needed. I was tempted to opt out on this day, the facilitator not having handed me a card initially, but I decided to take a step and put my bid in the bag.
The facilitator began calling out fun facts, and the guessing began. Some were easier to guess, others left the group stumped. ‘I make music’, ‘I’m a pisces’, ‘I have 14 nieces and nephews’, ‘I LOVE pickles, and I even drink the juice’. This last one earned some laughs from the group. Then, the facilitator called out my fact: ‘My favorite playground game is freeze tag.’
The room shifted a bit, then let out some uncomfortable laughter. ‘Who’s is this?’ someone insisted. Another comment, ‘At your big age…’ and another, ‘Right…’ and more chuckling. Then the guessing began, and came denial after denial. One person offered, ‘I didn’t write this, but I do like freeze tag.’ The guesses had made it to nearly everyone, and I knew my time was coming. The facilitator said, ‘Who’s is this?’ and rather than be outed, I made my move. ‘This is mine!’ I spoke up, assuredly shooting my hand in the air and claiming the fact.
We moved on, and the next person’s was ‘I play the Sims… at my big age’ and we knew immediately who it belonged to. She laughed into her hand, and people around began to chime in that they liked the game too, and started discussing game play.
As I sat listening to the facts be claimed, I began to think about the parts of ourselves that we allow to be known, and the parts we cover up or leave behind as we enter different stages and phases of life. This group consists of adults between 18 and 45 years old, still in the earlier parts of adulthood. It makes sense why a tidbit about recess and childhood games might have been off putting – for many, they are coming into their sense of adulthood, not keen on the attachments to childhood. However, I offer, there are benefits to remaining connected to those childhood days. There is wisdom in childhood.
Besides free tag being an ultimate game of collaboration, strategy, physical prowess, and interdependence, there’s plenty more the game has to offer, even though I don’t get to play it on a daily basis as I once did.
When we allow ourselves to remember what being a child was like, we open ourselves to a world of wisdom that our childhood selves may not have been able to tap. Did I see freezetag in the aforementioned terms while playing as a child? Definitely not. And yet, those were the elements that drew me to the game, even when I was not able to name them. By coming back with an adult perspective and a child’s experience, I unlock new dimensions of understanding.
I hope those coming into their adulthood don’t totally eschew their childhoods forever. After all, for most people in that group, the majority of their lives had been spent in the under 18 years, having lived more time as children than adults. We may put away certain aspects of ourselves for a time to mature in new ways, but there is valuable experience in all parts of our lives.
Adults who disconnect from their childhoods ruin the childhoods of other children. Remember how it felt to be a child, and let that inform your empathy as an adult who has the power, access, and ability your younger self may have dreamed of having one day. Be the adult in a child’s life that you wish you had. And how can you do that, unless you remember, unless you stop to consider your child self and their child self.
I proudly nurture my inner child and tend to the parts of myself that wished for different experiences as a child. It has been a very healing experience to re-nurture myself from an empowered place.
In wanting to grow up and escape the confines of childhood, I hope that we don’t move so fast and so far away that we become severed from this important aspect of who we are.
There is wisdom in childhood. Go back and fetch your wisdom. Allow yourself to play. There’s no need to be ashamed! You can be proud of who you are today, and yesterday.
Liberation Art Space 
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